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How to overcome resistance?


Photo credit: Ian Sane via photopin cc

This is post is based on my email conversation with someone:

Question: I use positive affirmations to achieve my goals. But my mind resist those affirmations. As soon as I affirm a positive statement my mind reply that ‘this statement is not true’.  For example if I affirm that, “I am confident and assertive” then my mind instantly reply, “No, you are not”. Even if I repeat this statement hundreds of time my mind keep resisting me. So what is the correct way to use affirmations?

Okay friends, I thought that this question is important because many people use affirmations or positive thoughts to overcome bad habits, change attitudes, install new beliefs and create resourceful states.

Since ages people believe that if you keep repeating an idea then sooner or later you will start believing in it. Do you know about that famous affirmation of Émile Coué? He cured thousands of people simply by telling them to affirm a simple statement again and again. That statement or affirmation is, “Every day in every way I am getting better, better and better!”

So by repeating a positive statement you create a new habit of thinking or a new pattern of thought which helps you to change your life as you desire.

Now coming back to the question. This friend is telling that his mind is resisting to positive affirmations. So what to do in this situation?

How to debug an affirmation so that your mind will not throw an error message?

There are two ways. One is to shut off your logical brain which is negating that positive statement. Suppose you affirm that, “I am strong confident and assertive man”. Your logical brain will tell you that you are not! You can shut your logical brain by going into a trance like state. This can be done by using self hypnosis or doing any relaxation technique available in the market. This is very popular way.

But there is another interesting way which I am going to tell you.

If your mind is resisting that statement because that statement is not true then why not create a statement which is true?

Are you getting my point?

Why affirm a false statement and create a never ending battle and tension in your mind? Simply change your statement which your mind could easily accept.

For example, we will play with this sentence: I AM STRONG CONFIDENT AND ASSERTIVE IN ALL SITUATIONS.

Okay this is a false statement and your mind knows it. So it will negate it or it will resist it.

So change that affirmation something like this, “I know that I am not strong, confident and assertive in all situations but I would like like to become a strong, confident and assertive man.” 

Is your mind resisting?

No!

Okay, now play with the same idea of confidence, strength and assertiveness and find different possibilities until you feel better.

  • I would like to become a strong, confident and assertive man
  • I’m willing to become a confident man
  • I like the feeling of confidence
  • I am determined to become a confident man
  • How does it feel to be  a confident and assertive man?
  • I would like to handle situations more confidently
  • I want to see myself more assertive and confident in every situation

There is no point in repeating a statement which your mind does not believe. Design another statement (with the same meaning, idea or theme) which your mind could easily accept without any resistance or doubt.

If you are feeling uncomfortable while doing affirmations then change your affirmations until you find a right affirmation and you feel comfortable with it. Do not fight with your brain. Do not try to impose a false belief which your logical brain is resisting. Play around that affirmation and find a way to make it suitable for your mind.

Take another example:

  • I am rich, wealthy and prosperous
    (“No, you are not” says your logical brain)
  • Okay, Life is prosperous. (Yes!)
  • There is plenty of wealth around me.(True)
  • There are millions of rich people in the world. (True)
  • I can also become rich and wealthy person (Perhaps…)
  • I would really like to become a wealthy person (True)
  • I like money, I like having lots of money (True)
  • I like the feeling of being financially secure (True)
  • I like the smell of money (True)
  • I really enjoy to imagine myself as a rich person (True)
  • I love the feeling of luxury (True)
  • I want easy money (True)
  • I feel good when I anticipate wealth (True)
  • I like to feel prosperous and wealthy all the time (True)
  • I like to believe that money can come effortlessly (True)

So if you repeat the first statement, “I am rich….” there will be lots of resistance because that statement is false but if you affirm remaining statements then there will be no resistance and still you are focused on wealth and money. These statements will definitely help you to create a wealthy mindset.

Take another example:

  • I am healthy (No, you are diseased!)
  • I am strong (No you are weak!)
  • My body is getting healed (FK U! You are not Jesus Christ!)
  • I remember those days when I was healthy (No resistance and your body is remembering those good feelings of health and fitness. This way you are using past resourceful states of well being)
  • I want to feel more energetic (Great! The power of intention)
  • I want to feel vibrant (Good)
  • I like the feeling of healthy body (True)
  • I would like to play tennis as soon as I get well (Focusing on health)
  • I like the feeling of well being (Kinesthetic representation)
  • I would like to see myself fit and healthy again (Visual representation)
  • I am eager to listen, “Hey John you are looking awesome” (Auditory representation)
  • I want to eat that delicious Hyderabadi Biryani! (Anticipating health and wellness)

See, in above statements we used all representational systems. These affirmations also helps you to focus  on health and wellness and your mind will not resist these thoughts.

The benefits of non-resistant affirmations

  • Your logical brain will feel good because you are not trying to fool him
  • You don’t need to go into a trance like state
  • Truth has its own power
  • Your mind will instantly accept these affirmations
  • There will be no endless battle in your mind
  • You will feel harmonious
  • These affirmations will work more speedily and powerfully
  • You will enter into desired state effortlessly and very quickly
  • You will be able to focus on desired subject without any resistance. You will save your energy.

Never focus on the things which you don’t want:

  • I like smoking
  • I don’t like smoking (Still thinking about smoking)
  • I don’t like the smell of tobacco  (Still thinking about smoking)
  • I hate smoking  (Still thinking about smoking)

All above sentences are focused on smoking. As long as you are focused on smoking (positively or negatively it doesn’t matter) you will smock. What you think you draw upon yourself. So if you want to quit bad habits then do not focus on them.  Simply ignore them.

Another example

  • There is no need to get relax instantly (Your mind will interpret this sentence as ‘relax instantly’)
  • You are not going into the trance, you are just listening my words (means you are going into the trance and listening my words)
  • There is no need to blink your eyes (blink!)
  • You can not imagine a pink buffalo because pink buffalo does not exist! (Your mind will imagine a pink buffalo)

“I am relaxing with every breath” is better suggestion than “I am releasing all tension and stress with every breath”

If any questions then use that comment form below and I will reply as usual.

Ending of your search..!