Photograph by: Dr. Manoj
Time is not a great healer. Time does not heal anything. Time only suppress your wounds deep into the subconscious. It does not heal anything. The best time to heal anything is NOW! You can heal your wounds only in the present moment. You can not depend on the future. Because if you live with the pain, agony and anguish, in time your mind will only become more dull. You have to deal with your pain, suffering and bad memories right now. If you keep it for the future then you will have to dig the grave of the past or it will bubble out time to time at the most unexpected moments. You will have nightmares.
Best place for the healing
The best place for all the healing work is your bathroom. When you are going through a bad phase, humiliation, sadness and extreme pain, when the wound is fresh, alive and throbbing close yourself into the bathroom. Stand in front of the mirror and start laughing. At first it will be like a fake laughter. But slowly, slowly it will transform into a great laughter. You will see a great transformation taking place in front of you. Learn to laugh on yourself in the worst situation.
If you can laugh on yourself while you are actually going through the bad phase then it’s something totally new phenomenon for the brain and specially for the ego. It will get surprised. Remember only ego can get hurt, only ego can become sad and only ego can suffer. If you laugh in this situation you will break the conditioning or mechanical response. Many times you go through a bad phase in life which continue for months and years. You may loose your balance again and again. Don’t get discouraged.
Play with your bad memories
Even if you loose balance for some time, it’s just ok. When you feel little bit relaxed, again close your eyes and go through that bad experience. Look at yourself how you behaved when you lost your balance. Notice your embarrassment and just say, ‘this is ridiculous’. Play with those images which make you fearful and create embarrassment in your mind. Make them more ridiculous and fearful. Make them bright and life size. Make them 3 dimensional as if it is happening NOW. Laugh out loudly and say, ‘Hey look, this is me, this is ridiculous’. Play this scenario in your mind again and again until you get fade up. It will take at the most 10 to 15 minutes to get totally fade up of that scene but it will never bother you again in the future. Otherwise people live with bad memories for years and years. You can get over any bad memory within few minutes.
Of course you may loose your balance again but it’s just fine. Now you know the trick. It is your mind. It need some entertainment so it will go again to the sad memories, it will again play the role of victim. That’s the only way ego can survive. If there is no problem in your life the ego will die. So it will create problem, embarrassments, sadness and all kind of bullshit which you can not imagine. A sad person or a victim has a strong ego. He can not let go. So again he will dig the grave, he will scratch the wounds. So you have to deal with the wounds again and again until you really get fade up.
Take a strong belief, for example, “I will come out like shining gold after going through all this bullshit”, imagine you are holding this belief in your hands and close your eyes. Go through all those bad memories which are giving you trouble. Create all those scenes and events in which you were not aware and you become a victim of sadness and embarrassment. Run that movie again and imagine yourself floating above those memories like a cloud and hold that belief near your heart, “I will come out like shining gold after going through all this bullshit”. Do this exercise for few minutes. Open your eyes and you will feel much, much better than before.
You will be surprised to know that all bad situations and events are just images in your brain. You can only suffer as long as you get identified with those images. It is not object or situation that makes you scared but it is your brain that makes you scared. You can change those mental pictures, make them funny or distort them. You can stop that running movie and turn it into a black and white static image just like an old photograph of your grand father and hang it on your imaginary wall.