Category Archives: Love/ Relationship

19 ways to get over a break up fast!

Photo credit: EliJerma via photopin cc

Sometimes I receive mails about how to get over break ups. My answer is simple: Never get seriously involved in other people otherwise you will get hurt!

The other person is not wrong but ‘getting involved’ with the other person is wrong. It is YOUR mistake. Your partner cheats on you and you will feel sad only because you are seriously involved with him/her. This is a kind of addiction or attachment.

So called true love will hurt you truly and deeply. There is not much difference between true love and true addiction. When you surrender to your lover, you give the key to your happiness to him/her. Remember, he/she is going to screw your life using that key! Your boyfriend or girlfriend appear as a special person only in the beginning.  He/she is just a human being, who is going to change in time.

So the secret is to find something which can make you truly happy without being dependent on other people.

  1. Stop haunting: Over analysis will make you mad. When you decide to break up with your partner (or he/she dumps you!) then don’t analyze the situation. Analysis is nothing but looking back again and again.  Then you will remain focused on the same person. So look forward and start moving away in different direction very fast. There should be no time lag in breakup and moving away from that person. Analysis will act like a buffer.
  2. Avoid trance like state: Don’t listen to sad songs, don’t drink alcohol. Otherwise you will go into a trans like state.  I know someone who is living in this kind of trance state since 21 years. Now his so called sweet and cute lover looks ugly and old.
  3. Create physical as well as mental distance: Don’t argue with that person (your lover or partner). Just move on quickly. It will save your energy and time. The other person wants you to get angry or loose control. Don’t give him that kind of vicious pleasure and he will feel shocked!
  4. Try to understand the difference between love and addiction: If you love yourself then break up will never make you sad because a person who love himself will never find excuses to feel sad about anything. You feel sadness only when you are addicted to other person. So love yourself. Then you will be able to love others without getting addicted to them.
  5. Never become addicted to any person or relationship in your life: It is a kind of psychological weakness. If you are not addicted or dependent to anyone in your life then there will be no break ups in your life.  (Less addiction=Less pain. More addiction= More pain)
  6. Be ready to walk away: Develop ability to be always ready to walk away from any relationship or any person without any regret.
  7. Do not expect too much from the other person: Ideal relationships and soul-mates exists only in romantic novels. If you still believe in soul-mates then most probably you are a nice guy. (Nice guy=AFC, AFC means Average Frustrated Chump who lives in the world of fairy tales and who believes that every good looking face = angel=soul-mate) Usually nice guys commit suicide because…because… they are sooo nice…you know…!
  8. Find some hobbies and interests: If you have hundreds of hobbies then it will be very difficult for you to feel sad about your break up. In fact you will feel happy for getting more time for your silly activities.
  9. Have a big social circle: If you have a big friend circle then break up will not be a big deal for you. Break up is a big deal only when you make other person center of your attention. If your whole life is moving around one person then if he kicks you out from his/her circle you will suddenly feel lonely and helpless.
  10. Break up is the beginning of something new: Break up is an opportunity to find new friends or partner. Get out in the streets, go to the shopping malls and anticipate who is suitable as your next ideal lover.
  11. Self respect is more important than any person or relationship: If a relationship is not working then don’t remain hanging on that person. Otherwise you will loose self respect.
  12. Find more options: Get over the need for others and loneliness. Brainstorm ideas and find more options to find more happiness.
  13. Use that empty canvas and draw a beautiful picture: When somebody break up with you he create a space in your life. This empty space is an opportunity to create new life. Use this opportunity to improve your life, to learn new skills, fitness and meditation.
  14. Redirect the energy of sadness: Redirect the energy of sadness in workout, aerobics, martial arts, jogging, dancing, writing, painting, singing etc. There are many, many ways to redirect your focus from sadness to happiness.
  15. Get clarity: Make a list of what was lacking in your previous relationship and make a list of what you expect in your new relationship. (But do not expect too much, refer to the Point no. 7)
  16. Only YOU should be the center of your attention: Never get seriously involved in any person. The only person with whom you should get seriously involved is YOU,Yourself!
  17. Give him the gift of missing you: Give him/her the gift of missing you by finding your own happiness, joy and fun and showing him/her how intelligent and wise you are.
  18. Create new life: Make list of goals, make plans, collect pictures of your desired objects, create wish list on Amazon, join Yoga classes, learn martial arts
  19. Read inspiring books: There are millions of books available on the Internet. It is better to read a quality book rather than thinking about your flop love story or cheating hubby. You can also watch funny videos on YouTube. When you change your state you look at your situation from a new angle.

So these are the 19 ways to getting over break ups.

Dump your lover and move on tiger…! Have thrill…!Have fun…! Hahaha…just kidding.

If you could laugh on your attachments, silliness, neediness, selfishness and stupidity then you can not remain sad for long time. The key is that you should be able to turn every adversity in your favor.

  • Bonus tip 20: Believe (even if it is false) that your lover left you because you don’t have enough money, six pack abs and confidence and immediately start working on these areas to improve your overall lifestyle.

Stay fit and happy for no reason and people will naturally attract to you just like dogs naturally attracts to meat!  

If you receive my posts in your inbox then take time to read this posts on my blog because sometimes I edit my posts and add more content.