(Photo credit: A_of_DooM)
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. One thing is certain that there will be problems whether you get married or not. So you have to find out what is suitable for you. If you are confused about getting married or not then ask yourself what exactly you want? Don’t be hurry and don’t settle for incorrect choices just because age is passing. If you get into a wrong relationship then life will become more complicated and if you have children then problem will get even worst. Then if you decide to break up and divorce it may cost you great financial and emotional loss.
If you want to get married then remember that you deserve the best and go for it. Don’t settle for average partner who is neurotic, alcoholic, mentally sick, abusive, vulgar, drug addict, dishonest (but handsome), boring (but beautiful), beautiful (but cold), having expectations which no one can fulfill, resistant, melodramatic, selfish, dominating, demanding, suicidal, gay (but software engineer in America), egoistic, manipulative or foolish (but rich), sexy but having zero interest in sex (this is horrible!), the great gambler, dashing street fighter, self centered non charming beauty queen etc.
You may feel that all doors are closed by now. No one is perfect.
Marriages are NOT made in heaven. Marriage is the concept of hell. In my view it is a prison. It gives a sense of security but there is deep insecurity in that institution. Your spouse may find better option than you. You may be handsome, beautiful, sexy or rich it doesn’t matter. People need variety. In fact it is boring to live with a single person for whole life. If you are lucky and you get a good partner than it is OK, but most of the time it does not happen. Soon you loose interest in each other.
People who get married within one or two years of love affairs are desperate and mentally weak. They are afraid of break ups and public opinions. There is no such thing as love at first sight. There are millions of potential partners all around the globe. The ideal age for marriage is after 40 and ideal partner for marriage is one who loves you more than 7 years. (Still I’m very doubtful…)
Before getting married or finding a partner write down what exactly you want from this relationship and which qualities you want in your partner. First be clear. What kind of person you want in your life. Make a huge list. Don’t get impressed just because the person is attractive or handsome. Scan the person very deeply. Look if there is any ugly, dishonest, cunning face behind that cute face.
Never get emotionally dependent on anyone. It really doesn’t matter if you live single. In fact it is more fun. There are many beautiful people. Learn how to approach and meet new people anywhere, in the malls, hotels, on the streets and exhibitions. It is adventure. If you have hundreds of friends then you will never have a breakup.
And if you don’t want to go into any relationship then also it is good. There is no problem. There are many interesting things than love affairs and sex. In fact commitments, relationships and all the circus is very superficial, and have no meaning at all. It is like changing TV channels. If you have relationship with ten different people you will loose your all interest. That is the only reason Buddha leave his palace and run away in the jungle. Jean-Paul Sartre (a French existentialist philosopher) said, “The other is hell”.
The most intelligent, strong and confident people mostly prefer to stay away from commitments and relationships, because there is no guaranty of tomorrow. A strong person accepts this uncertainty. Don’t fall into the trap of the society, remain single. The population is increasing. Air, water and food are polluted. This is not a safe place for your children.
Heraclitus (c.535–c.475 B.C., Greek philosopher of Ephesus) said that you can not step twice into the same river, and my friend, I say unto you that you can not sleep twice with the same person.