Photograph by: Dr. Manoj

No!

Time is not a great healer. Time does not heal anything. Time only suppress your wounds deep into the subconscious. It does not heal anything. The best time to heal anything is NOW! You can heal your wounds only in the present moment. You can not depend on the future. Because if you live with the pain, agony and anguish, in time your mind will only become more dull. You have to deal with your pain, suffering and bad memories right now. If you keep it for the future then you will have to dig the grave of the past or it will bubble out time to time at the most unexpected moments. You will have nightmares.

Best place for the healing

The best place for all the healing work is your bathroom. When you are going through a bad phase, humiliation, sadness and extreme pain, when the wound is fresh, alive and throbbing close yourself into the bathroom. Stand in front of the mirror and start laughing. At first it will be like a fake laughter. But slowly, slowly it will transform into a great laughter. You will see a great transformation taking place in front of you. Learn to laugh on yourself in the worst situation.

If you can laugh on yourself while you are actually going through the bad phase then it’s something totally new phenomenon for the brain and specially for the ego. It will get surprised. Remember only ego can get hurt, only ego can become sad and only ego can suffer. If you laugh in this situation you will break the conditioning or mechanical response. Many times you go through a bad phase in life which continue for months and years. You may loose your balance again and again. Don’t get discouraged.

Play with your bad memories

Even if you loose balance for some time, it’s just ok. When you feel little bit relaxed, again close your eyes and go through that bad experience. Look at yourself how you behaved when you lost your balance. Notice your embarrassment and just say, ‘this is ridiculous’. Play with those images which make you fearful and create embarrassment in your mind. Make them more ridiculous and fearful. Make them bright and life size. Make them 3 dimensional as if it is happening NOW. Laugh out loudly and say, ‘Hey look, this is me, this is ridiculous’. Play this scenario in your mind again and again until you get fade up. It will take at the most 10 to 15 minutes to get totally fade up of that scene but it will never bother you again in the future. Otherwise people live with bad memories for years and years. You can get over any bad memory within few minutes.

Of course you may loose your balance again but it’s just fine. Now you know the trick. It is your mind. It need some entertainment so it will go again to the sad memories, it will again play the role of victim. That’s the only way ego can survive. If there is no problem in your life the ego will die. So it will create problem, embarrassments, sadness and all kind of bullshit which you can not imagine. A sad person or a victim has a strong ego. He can not let go. So again he will dig the grave, he will scratch the wounds. So you have to deal with the wounds again and again until you really get fade up.

Take a strong belief, for example, “I will come out like shining gold after going through all this bullshit”, imagine you are holding this belief in your hands and close your eyes. Go through all those bad memories which are giving you trouble. Create all those scenes and events in which you were not aware and you become a victim of sadness and embarrassment. Run that movie again and imagine yourself floating above those memories like a cloud and hold that belief near your heart, “I will come out like shining gold after going through all this bullshit”.  Do this exercise for few minutes. Open your eyes and you will feel much, much better than before.

You will be surprised to know that all bad situations and events are just images in your brain. You can only suffer as long as you get identified with those images. It is not object or situation that makes you scared but it is your brain that makes you scared. You can change those mental pictures, make them funny or distort them. You can stop that running movie and turn it into a black and white static image just like an old photograph of your grand father and hang it on your imaginary wall.

Photo credit: Thank you Dr.Manoj!

The above picture remind me  the following story which I read somewhere many years ago. I think this is the simple solution for almost all of our problems and complicated situations. A problem is not a static state, it goes through many phases. There are many dimensions, views, perspectives and complications. If you keep analyzing the problem then it is never ending. If you discuss your problem with experts, friends and people to get some solution then it will become even worst because they have different opinions, judgements and views. But see what happens when you just accept the whole situation and say: “Is that so?”

The story

The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbors as one living a pure life.

A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.

This made her parents very angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin.

In great anger the parents went to the master. “Is that so?” was all he would say.

After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbors and everything else the little one needed.

A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth – that the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fishmarket.

The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask his forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back again.

Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: “Is that so?”

In this story Hakuin is innocent and an innocent person never try to defend himself. He is not so called moral saint with a calculative mind. He don’t bother about his public image or what people think about him. He is just a witness. His acceptance and innocence is total.

A friend called me in the morning, “I don’t want to get married, in fact I’m not interested at all but my parents are insisting too much and I’m also afraid what people and friends will think? I’m confused. I may get married under pressure but it is not my wish. There is no particular reason for not getting married. I’m simply not interested in producing children and spending rest of the life in fulfilling unwanted responsibilities. I feel all this very boring. I have got hundreds of ways to live life happily. I’m financially stable and healthy. I’m not a coward and I’m not running away from the life. But still I feel if I don’t get marry then my parents will become sad. Now what shall I do?”

I said, “Listen to the heart!”

I often get mails regarding this question. Some friends asked me whether I should get marry or not. Just listen to the heart, your heart is more important then my opinion. Go with your heart. If it says “yes” to get married then go for marriage, if it says “no” then don’t go. Then don’t bother about public opinion. Don’t live according to the rules of the society, create rules for yourself. You are right as long as you don’t harm anyone. If your parents get miserable just because you are not getting married then it is their problem, they are expecting something impossible from you. They gave birth to you, their duty is finished. Of course you must look after them, love them and take care of them but you should live according to your vision. Otherwise your whole life will become miserable.

In every area of life you should take counsel of your own heart. Before taking any decision you must ask your heart what is good for you. Only your heart knows what is right for you. Courage automatically comes when you live your hearts dream. Never settle for cheap alternatives and public opinions. Remember, this is a part of meditation.

Be an authentic man. Don’t hesitate. Live your own vision of truth. Be truthful to yourself. You are not obliged to fulfill others expectation.

Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a fake messiah. ~ Richard Bach (Illusions)

One of my friend has another problem, his father wants him to join military. His father was in military and his grandfather also worked in military so his father wants to continue the chain. The boy is not interested to join military. He is not interested in killing people. And there are many ways to serve the nation. Even if you become a doctor, engineer, software developer you are serving the nation. You don’t need to go on the border. You can also become a farmer. If everyone join the military who will produce crops?

So live your own vision, live your own dream. You know all the answers you need. You are the master. Listen to the heart and believe in yourself. Everyone has vision, every heart speaks but most of the people prefer to live according to public opinions and try to fit in the society. The rules of the society are good for an average man.

Listen to the heart, your heart has a vision! ~MG

I remember I used to draw sketches on my notebooks and books when I was in school. My teachers always punished me for this habit but it was an uncontrollable urge to draw. I can not stop when I see a piece of paper. I just draw something or at least sign on the blank paper. My signature also looks like painting. When I opened bank account, bank manager said if you could not make the same signature you will not be able to withdraw money from your account and I draw the same signature beside the previous signature.  So it is in blood.

Live your passion. Don’t compromise.

Ask your heart before you choose a profession. Do what you love even if you become a beggar. Money is not everything. Mostly immature people attract towards money, power and politics. If your hearts says to become a web designer then go for it, if your heart says to become a software developer then go for it, if you want to become a blogger then go for it, if you want to draw paintings then draw paintings. Live your life according to your own vision because it’s YOUR life and YOU are responsible for everything and you get this life only once. It is YOUR canvas.

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.
It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages. ~ Richard Bach (Illusions)

Photo credit: Muffet

Jealousy means dissatisfaction with ‘who am I’ and ‘what I have got’. Jealousy comes naturally and effortlessly when you compare yourself with others. You want to be like someone who has more power, more riches, more beauty, more talent and when you are unable to achieve the desired effect, you get jealous. You want to have that beautiful woman and unfortunately she loves someone else and there is jealousy.

Once you get trapped into jealousy it will suck your all energy and creativity. A mind which is occupied with jealous thoughts will definitely loose all creativity, charm and grace. Jealousy also creates inferiority complex. You feel jealous of someone means you are giving a lot of attention and importance to other person and accepting that he/she is better than you. This pattern will create inferiority complex. Then things will become more complicated. This jealousy may manifest on physical level as discomfort and illness which has no remedy in medical science. Recently I meet a person who had a paralysis attack just because his junior got promotion before him. Doctors are doing physiotherapy and massage but actually his soul need to be massaged.

Love-break is another cause of jealousy. A common face and boring person with dumb-ass IQ level suddenly becomes the most important person in your life just because he/she rejected you. And many people (not you) loose their mental balance. This person becomes the center of attraction in your life. You feel jealous of that person who has stolen your beloved. I have a good news for those unfortunate heartbroken lovers that there are thousands of beautiful women searching for a macho man like you in shopping malls and there are thousand of boys looking for a dolly polly girl like you on the streets. So don’t waste time in jealousy, hatred and regret. Use that time in window shopping and evening walks.

Jealousy is total wastage of time and most of the people are busy with comparing themselves with others and finding what is missing in their life and occupied with jealousy. You feel jealous because neighbour has a beautiful wife and at the same time that bastard also hates you for the same reason.

This jealousy has manifested on all levels. Pakistan is jealous of India, India is jealous of China, China is jealous of America and America is jealous of all countries which they find their competitors.

Everyone is busy in trying to prove somehow that I’m better than you. One of my friend often says that other women in her office feel very jealous of her because she looks more cute than others. One day I asked her, “but you are fat and overweight….?” She replied, “Yes, I’m fat and overweight but at least I have a cute face, they don’t have even that!”.

We pass this gift of jealousy to our next generations. We teach our children to compete with others. We teach them ambition which is different face of jealousy. Jealousy is a subtle violence.

Jealousy shows that you don’t love yourself. If you really love and respect yourself then how can you feel jealous of others? In jealousy and competition you loose self respect. If you really want a quick remedy on getting free from jealousy than awaken the fire of love in your heart.

“Life is full of beauty.

Notice it.

Notice the bumble bee,

the small child, and the smiling faces.

Smell the rain, and feel the wind.

Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

~Ashley Smith

Life is beautiful but only for those who have a sense of beauty. The mind becomes dull if it is constantly engaged in everlasting struggle of life. Without a beautiful heart how can you look at beauty? Beauty is not only in the face but also in the heart which is looking at the face.

Without love there is no beauty and there is no creativity. If you find only ugliness in life then something is wrong with you. It is your state of mind. Beauty is reality. It is not on the canvas. A beautiful painting is just a reflection of real beauty.

This moment is beautiful if you are sensitive and alert. Just close your eyes and feel your breathing, feel your heart pumping, feel the sensations of your cloths and listen to the sounds around you. Feel that you are alive and throbbing with energy. You don’t have to imagine anything, just feel what is already there, a beautiful mechanism, which is working silently, your body! This mechanism is so strange and complicated that it’s actually beautiful.

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” Sophia Loren (Italian film Actress)

Once you feel the beauty of being alive then you will be able to feel the beauty everywhere. Because the same mechanism working everywhere. This same mechanism is alive and throbbing with energy in flowers, birds, trees, animals and everywhere. Then you will know what beauty is.

Beauty is the fragrance of loving heart. You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart” ~ Helen Keller (American Author and Educator who was blind and deaf)

Concentration or focused attention is very much respected by society. Parents want to teach children how to concentrate and memorize. And many people complain that they can not remain focused on one subject. Well, this is a misconception. Anger is concentration, hurt is concentration. All suffering is nothing but focused attention. All of us are having good concentration skills. The problem comes when you want to focus on something in which you are NOT interested. For example a student is not interested in maths but he  want to focus on maths only to pass the exams.

You are already master in concentration. If you don’t believe me then watch yourself when you are angry. You are so focused in anger that you forget everything. People can not stop smoking or drinking because of strong concentration. All suffering which comes after breakup is nothing but concentrated focus on a single person. If you can not forgive someone for years means you are totally focused on that person. This shows that you can remain focused on something for years.

Mind automatically get focused on the topic in which it is interested. Whether it is good or bad it doesn’t matter. You feel angry or hurt because it gives your ego good feeling. You feel like you are important.

You don’t need to develop the skills of concentration, instead find the area in which you are most interested and you will get easily successful.

The students which are always on the top in school exams may considered as intelligent just because they are on the top. But in latter years other boys, who are having more social skills, confidence, and common sense, who are more focused on money and power may get more successful. This so called intelligence (which is the outcome of concentration) is relative and only time being. The object of concentration will change according to your change in interest.

You will be considered as a genius as long as you are focused on something in which you are interested and easily getting success. But you can be also considered as a fool if people could not understand your genius. The view of society about a successful man is very narrow. Basically it is based on money or social states. Money can easily hide your stupidity.

Meditation is NOT concentration; a meditative person is not focused on anything. He is just present. That’s why concentration on breathing is not meditation. Suppose you are totally focused on breathing and forget everything, then it is not meditation. Every year thousands of people travel all around the world and waste money to learn such kind of stupid things. What they teach in meditation camps is nothing but concentration. Meditation camps are concentration camps because along with stupid techniques they also brainwash you. Meditation can not be taught in camps. You have to learn it yourself in daily activities.

Earning money, balancing relationships, enjoying life, learning new skills, making new friends and achieving goals everything is part of meditation. It is not running away from life. Meditation is very balancing act. A meditative person is not introvert or extrovert. He is just balanced.

A person trying to concentrate can easily get disturbed, because he is fighting, resisting and trying his best to remain focused on ‘one thing’. A meditative person can not be disturbed because he is not forcing himself to remain focused. He is simply present. Forced alertness or awareness is not meditation, it is concentration.

Meditation is to simply being with yourself in the moment. And concentration is to leave yourself and focus on some point in time and space.

(Photo credit: A_of_DooM)

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. One thing is certain that there will be problems whether you get married or not. So you have to find out what is suitable for you.  If you are confused about getting married or not then ask yourself what exactly you want? Don’t be hurry and don’t settle for incorrect choices just because age is passing. If you get into a wrong relationship then life will become more complicated and if you have children then problem will get even worst. Then if you decide to break up and divorce it may cost you great financial and emotional loss.

If you want to get married then remember that you deserve the best and go for it. Don’t settle for average partner who is neurotic, alcoholic, mentally sick, abusive, vulgar, drug addict, dishonest (but handsome), boring (but beautiful), beautiful (but cold), having expectations which no one can fulfill, resistant, melodramatic, selfish, dominating, demanding, suicidal, gay (but software engineer in America), egoistic, manipulative or foolish (but rich), sexy but having zero interest in sex (this is horrible!), the great gambler, dashing street fighter, self centered non charming beauty queen etc.

You may feel that all doors are closed by now. No one is perfect.

Marriages are NOT made in heaven. Marriage is the concept of hell. In my view it is a prison. It gives a sense of security but there is deep insecurity in that institution. Your spouse may find better option than you. You may be handsome, beautiful, sexy or rich it doesn’t matter. People need variety. In fact it is boring to live with a single person for whole life. If you are lucky and you get a good partner than it is OK, but most of the time it does not happen. Soon you loose interest in each other.

People who get married within one or two years of love affairs are desperate and mentally weak. They are afraid of break ups and public opinions. There is no such thing as love at first sight. There are millions of potential partners all around the globe. The ideal age for marriage is after 40 and ideal partner for marriage is one who loves you more than 7 years. (Still I’m very doubtful…)

Before getting married or finding a partner write down what exactly you want from this relationship and which qualities you want in your partner. First be clear. What kind of person you want in your life. Make a huge list. Don’t get impressed just because the person is attractive or handsome. Scan the person very deeply. Look if there is any ugly, dishonest, cunning face behind that cute face.

Never get emotionally dependent on anyone. It really doesn’t matter if you live single. In fact it is more fun. There are many beautiful people. Learn how to approach and meet new people anywhere, in the malls, hotels, on the streets and exhibitions. It is adventure. If you have hundreds of friends then you will never have a breakup.

And if you don’t want to go into any relationship then also it is good. There is no problem. There are many interesting things than love affairs and sex. In fact commitments, relationships and all the circus is very superficial, and have no meaning at all. It is like changing TV channels. If you have relationship with ten different people you will loose your all interest. That is the only reason Buddha leave his palace and run away in the jungle. Jean-Paul Sartre (a French existentialist philosopher) said, “The other is hell”.

The most intelligent,  strong and confident people mostly prefer to stay away from commitments and relationships, because there is no guaranty of tomorrow. A strong person accepts this uncertainty. Don’t fall into the trap of the society, remain single. The population is increasing. Air, water and food are polluted. This is not a safe place for your children.

Heraclitus (c.535–c.475 B.C., Greek philosopher of Ephesus) said that you can not step twice into the same river, and my friend, I say unto you that you can not sleep twice with the same person.

Photo credit: kudumomo

If you look at the right sidebar you will see a Spam Counter and it shows that there are more than 31,000 Spam comments which I received  in last 2 months. And I have to read them all so that I should not miss a single comment from a sincere reader.

I’m tired.

That’s the only reason I stop writing new  posts.

UPDATE: Spam issue is solved.

Anyway,  this moment, you are reading this post and THIS is the most precious moment in your life because YOU ARE ALIVE, this moment is the reality and this moment is the truth.

I believe you are AWARE and you are feeling your PRESENCE.

THIS is life.

Everything else is just thought and imagination. Thought is not life. You can never understand life through thinking.

Thinking and imagination is the root of all evil and sorrow. This moment if you are aware and if there is no thought of future or past then you are FREE.

This is what enlightenment is.

You don’t need to go through all meditation and practicing virtue. You just need to come out of your dreamy state. It takes only few seconds.

I’m living it since last 15 years without getting bored or suffering so can you. It is the most easiest thing in life you can do for yourself and it is more valuable than getting a millionaire or becoming world famous.

You can not suffer if you live moment to moment but if you live in ‘time’, if you live in the ‘past or future’, if you live in your ‘personal story’ then there is no way out from endless suffering.

All your wealth, power, success, achievements, love affairs, relationships and marriages are root of your suffering. They may give you momentary happiness and joy but in long run you must know ‘who you really are’, otherwise you will die in ultimate frustration.

And the shortest possible way to freedom is to AWAKE… HERE and NOW!

Nobody can help you and there is no technique! Only you are responsible. You can help your children not by giving them the best education but by helping them to get awaken from this dreamy state of living which is the root of sorrow.

Everlasting happiness is not possible in achieving your dreams but in destroying all dreams!

Realize that you don’t have time, you can not  postpone it, tomorrow never comes.

It’s NOW or never!

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose

Photo credit: Fog by pb3131

Without going into any technical details and complications I am going to show you directly the most simple yet very powerful way of self hypnosis. You can do it any time but it is better to try it before you sleep. This is the very basic induction.

Seat on a chair or lie down, if you lie down it will be much better. Then close your eyes and notice the sensations in your body. Feel the weight of your body, temperature in the room, your breathing etc. Then pay attention to your feet and tell them to relax.

Just repeat mentally, “My feet are getting relax now…my feet are getting relax, as I go deeper and deeper”…and feel that your feet are getting relaxed. Keep repeating this thought for few moments and your feet will get relaxed. Then repeat, “My calves are getting relax and comfortable as I go deeper and deeper”. Then come upward, “My thighs are getting relax as I go deeper and deeper….my stomach is getting relax as I go deeper and deeper”.

Don’t be hurry, just give attention to each part of your body and suggest calmly to get relax. Relax  your chaste, your neck, shoulder, arms, face and your head. “My body is completely relaxed now”… “Now my breathing is getting relax, my breathing is getting”….Then repeat, “My thoughts are getting relax, my mind is getting relax now…my mind is …”, repeat this thought for few moments. “My mind is calm and relax now”.

Then tell yourself, “I’m going to count downward, from 10 to 1 and with each count I’ll go deeper and deeper. 10… going deeper and deeper, 9…going deeper and deeper, 8…, 7…,6…,….,…1….now I’m totally relax and comfortable”.

Now you are in the trance. It will take approximately 10 minutes to complete this process.

Here you can program your mind to get relax in any situation instantly in the future, just join your three fingers and say to yourself, “Whenever I join my fingers together like this I will instantly reach this level of relaxation to program my mind for anything”. But you have to repeat this process for three weeks. Then you will find that you can get relax anytime simply by joining your figures with your eyes open. This will automatically improve your memory and learning skills. If you join your fingers in the class room your mind will become silent and your learning ability will increase.

Affirmations:
Affirmations are simple positive statements which you repeat when you are in a deep trance to program your mind for improvements.
For example,

• Every day in every way I’m getting better, better and better
• I’ll always maintain healthy body and mind
• I’m confident
• I’m attractive, I can confidently approach people.
• I’m the best orator
• I’m loosing my extra weight easily…I’m getting thin…etc

You can make your own positive statements according to your own need. Just remember that you should never use negative statement. For example, instead of, “I’m getting less fearful” say “I’m confident”.

Your affirmations must be in the present tense. For example, instead of, “I will get healthy” say “I’m getting better and better”.

Pain and healing

You can also reduce pain and speed up the healing process by programming your brain at relaxed state by using following affirmation.
“When I repeat the word BANISH PAIN my pain get disappear and when I repeat the word HEAL my body immediately starts the healing process”.
If you repeat this process for few weeks and program your brain to BANISH PAIN and HEAL, then in future if you have any physical problem you can test this method and find for yourself that it always works.

Visualization
Images are more powerful than words. French psychotherapist Emile Coue says, “When the imagination and will power are in conflict, are antagonistic, it is always the imagination which wins, without any exception.”

Imagine yourself while repeating the affirmations in the trance and you will get the results very fast.

Finishing the session
After completing your trance work say to yourself that I’m going to count from 1 to 5 and at the count of 5 I’ll be wide awake felling wonderful and refresh. 1..coming back, 2…,3…getting more alert…4,…5 awake and refreshed, feeling wonderful.

There are many possibilities to use hypnosis. You can use it to improve your health, memory, increase or reduce your weight, healing, confidence, public speaking, getting free from smoking, getting over break ups, forgetting your ex, develop a muscular body, improve performance in sports, seduction, competitive exams etc.

Be creative and use your imagination. This is very basic technique to relax your body and mind, but it’s very powerful. By using this technique you can install any powerful belief in your mind. If you regularly practice this technique then within few weeks you will see the expected results.

This is a very interesting book for you, if you are truly interested and want to understand the world in which you find yourself.

Over 20 years ago Stephen Hawking wrote “A Brief History of Time”. In that book he tried to explain where the universe came from, and where it is going. But he says that the book left some important questions unanswered.

The Grand Design, is the product of four-year effort of Leonard Mlodinow and Stephen Hawking. It is a attempt to answer the Ultimate Questions of Life, the Universe and Everything.

This book is about central investigations of philosophy and science: Why is there a universe? Why is there something rather than nothing? Why do we exist? Why are the laws of nature what they are? Did the universe need a designer and creator? No one can make a discussion of such matters as fascinating as Stephen Hawking, with cutting-edge physics to answer those key questions.

In The Grand Design he explain why, according to quantum theory, the cosmos does not have just a single existence, or history, but rather that every possible history of the universe exists simultaneously.

In short “The Grand Design” explain the mystery of the universe’s creation without a divine creator. The book is shorter and more clear than any other physics book. This is a nice summary of physics and cosmology. You may find the book hard to put down and compulsively readable.

“We need to know not only how the universe behaves, but why.” ~ Stephen Hawking