How to control anger?
People are asking this question since thousands of years.
Well, the answer is “NO, you can not control your anger”
You can not control the anger because it is you. It is one of your faces. You keep changing your faces all the time. Normally when you get angry, you have many reasons to support your anger and violence. You don’t want to get free from the anger because you feel powerful and strong when you get angry.
Deep down nobody wants to get totally free from the anger because you want all the benefit you can get by being angry. Anger is the best way to prove others that you are Mr. Right. Anger is an easy way to manipulate and dominate people.
If you really want to get free from anger then you have to look into all the hidden benefits you get by being angry.
Second thing, anger is a sleepy state of mind. When you get angry you become unconscious. So your all effort to control your anger are unconscious efforts. It’s like you are fighting with your enemy in your dream. Half of your mind is engaged in creating anger and supporting it by giving all the logical reasons and other half of your mind is engaged in controlling this anger.
Don’t condemn the anger. It is just your own imagination. It is your thoughts. It is you, temporarily unconscious. In this unconscious state one can commit violence. Anger also leaves behind a shadow of guilt.
Trying to control anger is like to stop a powerful flow of river. You will never succeed.
There is another way. Don’t try to control your emotions of anger. Controlled anger will become depression and frustration and it may bubble up any moment.
First thing be friendly with your emotions because they are your emotions. Whenever you get angry try to become aware of physical sensations of anger. You will feel uncomfortable sensations in different parts of your body. It is very simple thing to observe these sensations. Most probably you will feel these sensations in your head. So just watch those sensations. Also keep an eye on your thoughts. Look how your thoughts are reacting to the whole situation.
Anger is the best opportunity for meditation. If you are already silent then what is the need for meditation? When you are angry there are lots of things going on in your mind. In anger you can catch your ego in action. Normally ego is silent and hidden. You can not see it but in overwhelming anger your ego is working faster. You can easily observe his actions and hidden layers. In that observation itself you will know what is the right action. Your mind will become calm and relax. Then you will take an appropriate action but it will not come from your anger rather it will come from the understanding of your mind.