A friend called me in the morning, “I don’t want to get married, in fact I’m not interested at all but my parents are insisting too much and I’m also afraid what people and friends will think? I’m confused. I may get married under pressure but it is not my wish. There is no particular reason for not getting married. I’m simply not interested in producing children and spending rest of the life in fulfilling unwanted responsibilities. I feel all this very boring. I have got hundreds of ways to live life happily. I’m financially stable and healthy. I’m not a coward and I’m not running away from the life. But still I feel if I don’t get marry then my parents will become sad. Now what shall I do?”

I said, “Listen to the heart!”

I often get mails regarding this question. Some friends asked me whether I should get marry or not. Just listen to the heart, your heart is more important then my opinion. Go with your heart. If it says “yes” to get married then go for marriage, if it says “no” then don’t go. Then don’t bother about public opinion. Don’t live according to the rules of the society, create rules for yourself. You are right as long as you don’t harm anyone. If your parents get miserable just because you are not getting married then it is their problem, they are expecting something impossible from you. They gave birth to you, their duty is finished. Of course you must look after them, love them and take care of them but you should live according to your vision. Otherwise your whole life will become miserable.

In every area of life you should take counsel of your own heart. Before taking any decision you must ask your heart what is good for you. Only your heart knows what is right for you. Courage automatically comes when you live your hearts dream. Never settle for cheap alternatives and public opinions. Remember, this is a part of meditation.

Be an authentic man. Don’t hesitate. Live your own vision of truth. Be truthful to yourself. You are not obliged to fulfill others expectation.

Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a fake messiah. ~ Richard Bach (Illusions)

One of my friend has another problem, his father wants him to join military. His father was in military and his grandfather also worked in military so his father wants to continue the chain. The boy is not interested to join military. He is not interested in killing people. And there are many ways to serve the nation. Even if you become a doctor, engineer, software developer you are serving the nation. You don’t need to go on the border. You can also become a farmer. If everyone join the military who will produce crops?

So live your own vision, live your own dream. You know all the answers you need. You are the master. Listen to the heart and believe in yourself. Everyone has vision, every heart speaks but most of the people prefer to live according to public opinions and try to fit in the society. The rules of the society are good for an average man.

Listen to the heart, your heart has a vision! ~MG

I remember I used to draw sketches on my notebooks and books when I was in school. My teachers always punished me for this habit but it was an uncontrollable urge to draw. I can not stop when I see a piece of paper. I just draw something or at least sign on the blank paper. My signature also looks like painting. When I opened bank account, bank manager said if you could not make the same signature you will not be able to withdraw money from your account and I draw the same signature beside the previous signature.  So it is in blood.

Live your passion. Don’t compromise.

Ask your heart before you choose a profession. Do what you love even if you become a beggar. Money is not everything. Mostly immature people attract towards money, power and politics. If your hearts says to become a web designer then go for it, if your heart says to become a software developer then go for it, if you want to become a blogger then go for it, if you want to draw paintings then draw paintings. Live your life according to your own vision because it’s YOUR life and YOU are responsible for everything and you get this life only once. It is YOUR canvas.

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.
It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages. ~ Richard Bach (Illusions)

“Life is full of beauty.

Notice it.

Notice the bumble bee,

the small child, and the smiling faces.

Smell the rain, and feel the wind.

Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

~Ashley Smith

Life is beautiful but only for those who have a sense of beauty. The mind becomes dull if it is constantly engaged in everlasting struggle of life. Without a beautiful heart how can you look at beauty? Beauty is not only in the face but also in the heart which is looking at the face.

Without love there is no beauty and there is no creativity. If you find only ugliness in life then something is wrong with you. It is your state of mind. Beauty is reality. It is not on the canvas. A beautiful painting is just a reflection of real beauty.

This moment is beautiful if you are sensitive and alert. Just close your eyes and feel your breathing, feel your heart pumping, feel the sensations of your cloths and listen to the sounds around you. Feel that you are alive and throbbing with energy. You don’t have to imagine anything, just feel what is already there, a beautiful mechanism, which is working silently, your body! This mechanism is so strange and complicated that it’s actually beautiful.

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” Sophia Loren (Italian film Actress)

Once you feel the beauty of being alive then you will be able to feel the beauty everywhere. Because the same mechanism working everywhere. This same mechanism is alive and throbbing with energy in flowers, birds, trees, animals and everywhere. Then you will know what beauty is.

Beauty is the fragrance of loving heart. You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart” ~ Helen Keller (American Author and Educator who was blind and deaf)

(Photo credit: A_of_DooM)

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. One thing is certain that there will be problems whether you get married or not. So you have to find out what is suitable for you.  If you are confused about getting married or not then ask yourself what exactly you want? Don’t be hurry and don’t settle for incorrect choices just because age is passing. If you get into a wrong relationship then life will become more complicated and if you have children then problem will get even worst. Then if you decide to break up and divorce it may cost you great financial and emotional loss.

If you want to get married then remember that you deserve the best and go for it. Don’t settle for average partner who is neurotic, alcoholic, mentally sick, abusive, vulgar, drug addict, dishonest (but handsome), boring (but beautiful), beautiful (but cold), having expectations which no one can fulfill, resistant, melodramatic, selfish, dominating, demanding, suicidal, gay (but software engineer in America), egoistic, manipulative or foolish (but rich), sexy but having zero interest in sex (this is horrible!), the great gambler, dashing street fighter, self centered non charming beauty queen etc.

You may feel that all doors are closed by now. No one is perfect.

Marriages are NOT made in heaven. Marriage is the concept of hell. In my view it is a prison. It gives a sense of security but there is deep insecurity in that institution. Your spouse may find better option than you. You may be handsome, beautiful, sexy or rich it doesn’t matter. People need variety. In fact it is boring to live with a single person for whole life. If you are lucky and you get a good partner than it is OK, but most of the time it does not happen. Soon you loose interest in each other.

People who get married within one or two years of love affairs are desperate and mentally weak. They are afraid of break ups and public opinions. There is no such thing as love at first sight. There are millions of potential partners all around the globe. The ideal age for marriage is after 40 and ideal partner for marriage is one who loves you more than 7 years. (Still I’m very doubtful…)

Before getting married or finding a partner write down what exactly you want from this relationship and which qualities you want in your partner. First be clear. What kind of person you want in your life. Make a huge list. Don’t get impressed just because the person is attractive or handsome. Scan the person very deeply. Look if there is any ugly, dishonest, cunning face behind that cute face.

Never get emotionally dependent on anyone. It really doesn’t matter if you live single. In fact it is more fun. There are many beautiful people. Learn how to approach and meet new people anywhere, in the malls, hotels, on the streets and exhibitions. It is adventure. If you have hundreds of friends then you will never have a breakup.

And if you don’t want to go into any relationship then also it is good. There is no problem. There are many interesting things than love affairs and sex. In fact commitments, relationships and all the circus is very superficial, and have no meaning at all. It is like changing TV channels. If you have relationship with ten different people you will loose your all interest. That is the only reason Buddha leave his palace and run away in the jungle. Jean-Paul Sartre (a French existentialist philosopher) said, “The other is hell”.

The most intelligent,  strong and confident people mostly prefer to stay away from commitments and relationships, because there is no guaranty of tomorrow. A strong person accepts this uncertainty. Don’t fall into the trap of the society, remain single. The population is increasing. Air, water and food are polluted. This is not a safe place for your children.

Heraclitus (c.535–c.475 B.C., Greek philosopher of Ephesus) said that you can not step twice into the same river, and my friend, I say unto you that you can not sleep twice with the same person.

Mind wants endless pleasure and project colorful pictures, this process is called as lust or desire. Time does not exist if there is no desire. Desire is time. Even if you desire enlightenment then you are living in time.

Bright future does not exist except in your imagination. At the most you can become a president or a king but they are also suffering. You can lust for a beautiful woman but the beauty will fade away in time and your mind will desire another woman. As soon as you posses a woman she becomes ugly.

Ordinary love is also a kind of binding. Love is not love it is a prison. Lovers suck each other. Freedom from love is enlightenment. And marriages are hell. I don’t even talk on marriages. A wise person should avoid to produce a child in this polluted atmosphere and sick humanity.

We know Taj Mahal as symbol of love but other lesser known facts: Mumtaj was Shahjahan’s 4th wife out of his 7 wives. Shahjahan killed Mumtaz’s husband to marry her. Mumtaz died during her 14th delivery. He then married her sister. Question arises what kind of love is this? And your love story is not much different than this story.

A  dollar is just a printed paper but people are mad after dollars. Yes you need some dollars to survive and live happily or even a luxurious life, but there is some limit.

You can not become the richest person even if you try your best. Someone will be always ahead of you. Miss world or Miss Universe is illusion, you will find beautiful women in every village. According to theory of relativity numbers game is an illusion. Every woman is beautiful from some angle.

Everyone wants to be on the top. This madness is making people crazy. Top position is false. When you do not seek for the top position and stop running in the rat race you are free.

No one can go on the top level unless there is some some kind of madness, sickness or inferiority complex. There is deep rooted violence which wants to show everyone down. It is very sophisticated and innocent way to insult others. But in that process you are making yourself fool. If you reach there you will definitely feel like a fool. The concept of the top position exist only in the mind. Suppose you do not like Football then you do not bother who is on the top in Football.

Krishna says in Geeta, “Do the Karma but do not expect the fruit” because when you expect the fruit or the result you already in the future. The moment is missed. And freedom is in the moment, in the action itself.

Today I delete my two posts because I thought they were not important, but in the evening I change my mind and decide to restore them back. That was easy for me because I regularly back up my SQL database and for safety keep it on three different locations. So I just copy my old posts from my previous backup and published them again.

Data is valuable, so we keep a backup but what about our relationships?
Fortunately you don’t need to take backup of our relationships, they are automatically stored in our brain. There you will find your good and bad memories with your friends.

Conflict is natural process in any relationship  but it is wrong to break up over small and pity things. It is a big mistake to take decisions from negative frame of mind when something goes wrong. Sometimes negative influences around us affect our own intimate relationships. For example if a divorce happen in a friend circle then it creates a chain reaction and other people also start seeing their partner through this new perspective which is a negative frame and obviously there is conflict. This is a mechanical process. If you are not alert then you become a victim. It works just like a virus.

If this kind of thing happens and you find yourself in negative state of mind then simply access your good memories with your partner or friend. Go back to the past, find a moment when both of you were happy together and look at things from THAT reference, your last moments which were working well. It is easy because your brain is automatically recording each moment. Perhaps you have spend hundreds of happy moments together, go back to those memories and live them again in your imagination. And look at the present from that perspective.

Never take any decision from negative memory even if it is a fact. Whenever you are in conflict with your friend or beloved then don’t act from negative mindset. Remember all those moment when you were in HARMONY and there was TRUST. Make a commitment with your friends to ‘access good memories’ and ‘act from that point of reference’ if anything goes wrong in the future.

Mistakes happens. Hundreds of time you will make mistakes, so there is no point in totally break up the relations. It’s my advice that  you should never break up any relationship which is working since more than three years. When someone makes a mistake, remember that he is a human being just like you.

You can make millions of mistakes  but if you know ‘how to come back to good memories and start again from that point’ then there is no problem.

Many of you may know how to restore your backups, Windows Operating System also have a restore point. If something goes wrong you can just go back to your last setting which worked well. In the same way you must know how to restore your relationships to the ‘best past moment which was working well for both of you’.

Whenever things go wrong, learn to remember your happy moments, access that memory. Make this commitment with yourself and your friends, today. Always remember to make a restore point when things are going well. Suppose you are enjoying a good party with your friends then make a commitment to yourself to come back to this moment if something wrong in the future. Make this a rule to regularly make a restore point so that you can always access the latest joyful and happy memory.

Love is coding, you need to debug and backup like a good programmer – MG

“It is just a four letter word”, replied MG,

“And FUCK?”, asked the boy impatiently,

“It is another four letter word” replied MG quietly.

———————————

Explanation:

Love is mind, it is just a thought. It is your imagination. There is nothing spiritual or mystical in it. You concentrate on one person and think that he/she is the only one. Actually that person has some criteria which is matching to your criteria, that’s all. There is nothing special about it. As long as that criteria is matching, you are friends or lovers. You unconsciously hypnotize your mind that this is the only one. In reality there are many people out there who can be your potential lovers.

Sex is just a need for pleasure. When that need is over love is finished, only relationship is left with its complications. You can never go from Sex to Super-consciousness as Osho has described in his talks. At least I never come across any such person. Sex is a pleasure just like any other pleasure. Sex or celibacy both are mind games. Its only when you understand the futility of chasing sex and love there is freedom from carving and pleasure.

Certain chemicals are released in the brain when you get attracted to someone, it is called Dopamine. It has almost same effect on brain as Cocaine. Serotonin keeps your lover popping in your brain. So love is just a chemical addiction between two people. Oxytocin is released by men and women during orgasm, which deepens the attachment, and you feel closer to your beloved. Vasopress released after sex helps to keep long term commitment and relationship. if you give a drug to suppress the effect of above said chemicals, love will be deteriorate. Chemical effect is strong as long as the lover is new but as the love affair get old the effect is fade up and the search for new lover begins. This is the basic reason of all love breaks.

Love and hate are two faces of the same coin, that is mind. You can not hate the person you never loved.

He/she is not beautiful, attractive or sexy, it’s YOUR mind making you fool.

Love is not god, love is a chemical shit ~ MG

Photo credit: Jayel Aheram

When you start living moment to moment and drop all the burden of past, actually there is no need to drop the past just come back to ‘here and now’ and the past is no more. It is just your wrong focus which creates or repeats the past again and again,that’s all. Then there is peace and happiness and it is not imaginary but REAL. It is not something projected by your mind. In fact there is no mind when there is no seeking. You don’t have to seek it, it is already there but you must be present to embarrass it. It is just a single step journey. You just have to be silent, not in speech but in ‘thoughts’. This is not difficult once you understand that life is happening ‘now’ and you should be ‘present’ in the now. The present moment is only your home. Then wherever you go you will feel as if you are at home. You will feel at ease, and life will be spontaneous and effortless. You simply have to be with your actions. That is what I call ‘meditation’. When you do anything ‘consciously’ then there is creativity and in that moment there is no past or future. Future is not different from the past. Future is nothing but the past projecting itself.
As soon as you start living in ‘this moment’ you cut off from the rotten and outdated tradition and all religions. Then awareness is the only religion and love is its fragrance. Then there is no fear because fear exists only in imagination. Then there is no jealousy or comparison. Then only you will know nonviolence which is not a political ideal but natural and real. It is not the ‘ideal of nonviolence’ but the ‘freedom from the violence’. It is just a bi product of love. It is not something like political blackmailing to get what you want easily. So called nonviolence is just a rubbish concept which one can use to manipulate others. In meditation a person becomes free from all kind of violence. One must be very aware and careful not to get influenced by so called great nonviolent respected figures because their nonviolence is only skin deep. And those people can affect the masses but never affect the ‘consciousnesses of man. They only create more disorder.
When you are aware you only look at the facts and when you look at facts you can’t be optimistic or pessimistic, because a fact is a fact. And violence is a fact, non-violence is a non fact. Give a man fact so that he can deal with it. If you observe violence chances are that you will get free from it. Then it is not nonviolence but it is FREEDOM from violence. See the difference. When you are aware you don’t need to seek refuge in gurus, scriptures and nonexistent concepts like nonviolence or god. You don’t need to waste your time, energy and money in so called techniques which are sold in the market and known as meditation. Peace or happiness is not for sell it is already within you. A person in the past may suffered and gone through starvation to find the truth but that does not mean that you must also go through that in order to achieve ‘peace or maturity’. Here I don’t want to use the word ‘enlightenment’. It is outdated and corrupt word. And more important thing is that it has no meaning. You don’t need to get free from the conditioning. You just have to start living where life is happening instead of living in dreams and concepts. Only then you will be able to use your brain. Otherwise it is just a machine, a programmed computer. If there is no awareness it is just a machine. The worship of symbols and figures, the guru and the mantra has nothing to do with meditation.
We have tried everything yoga, techniques, and religions but nothing worked. Now its time to drop the whole ‘religious structure’ of the world. In the name of so called enlightened souls we only killed innocent. Instead of getting inspired we used them for entertainment. You don’t need inspiration or motivation from others to live with awareness and love.
Using your brain is very importent. We are so dependent, a quarral with your wife and you need to go to the specialist, psychologists and psychotherapists. Learn to stand alone.

Photo credit: State Library of New South Wales collection

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”

“Is the man of the house home?”, they asked.

“No”, she replied. “He’s out.”

“Then we cannot come in”, they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
“Go tell them I am home and invite them in!
The woman went out and invited the men in”

“We do not go into a House together,” they replied.

“Why is that?” she asked.

One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.” Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!!”, he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”

His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?”

Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”

“Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife.
“Go out and invite Love to be our guest.”
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.”

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?”

The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.

“Only Love is the real Wealth and Success…!!!”
(Source: Email forward)

Photo credit: kevindooley

Is love thought?
If you love your family and hate you neighbor, is that love?
How can you love if you are constantly nagging, demanding or jealous?
You love a person and expect that he should fulfill your every wimp, is that love?
Do you think that your never fulfilling expectations and doubts has anything to do with love? How could a fearful and insecure person love?

People are destroying their partner and children in the name of love. Most of us assume that to love means to control the other person. Because this is the easiest way to manipulate and spoil.

A person may feel lonely and cling to someone. Generally this is our love. One is dependent all the time. One is feeling empty inside, or feeling week hence the search for relationship or substitute for previous one. Most people finding love and comfort through all this.

We teach our children to love but we also teach them to compete. How could a competitive mind, a calculative mind love?

A mind carrying huge burden of the past can not love. One is able to love if he can live without past. We build an image of a person and look through that image, that image is static, perhaps build from many events, experiences, hurts and memories but still its an image. That image is the barrier we create for safety and convenient, so that we don’t have to learn again and again about this person, even if he is totally changed. We make an opinion. As long as that image or opinion is there one can not love.

Love is simple, love is easy but mind creates complexity. Mind is very much interested in complications, it is the only way it can survive. When the mind comes in with its calculations, doubts and comparisons, love become problem which mind can never solve.

Going beyond the mind means living in love. This love does not need exploiting relationships or god. Living in this love is the only meditation. This love is not focused on any one person, object or nation. It has no cause or direction.